After being subjected to the absolutely dire football we played prior to the break, I was quite happy to have a weekend free of stress, rage, and eventual despair. That week has come and gone, and I’m now ready to resume business as usual. This international break doesn’t seem to have taken an obscene number of casualties (for once), but don’t worry — we only have to wait four weeks for the next one. The weekend is here, and come Monday morning, I’ll either be on top of the world or beneath it. Grab a pint, take your lunch break from work and don’t go back, and get stuck into some Matchweek 8 predictions.
Nottingham Forest vs Chelsea
12:30, Saturday, 18 October, The City Ground
I’ve just seen that Ange is on the chopping block if Forest fail to glean a result from this, and truly it’s just so bat-shit insane that I believe it. He’s had what, four games? Yeah, seen enough — sack the bastard. Absolutely unhinged behaviour, spot on for Mr Marinakis. Chelsea’s last-minute winner — because we can’t properly mark at the back post — will have done Maresca’s side’s confidence a world of good, and quite honestly, I’d like to see Forest lose just to see how deranged Evangelos Marinakis truly is.
Prediction: 2–0 Chelsea
First Goalscorer: Enzo
Sunderland vs Wolverhampton Wanderers
15:00, Saturday, 18 October, Stadium of Light
Wolves remain dead bottom and winless through the first seven played, although they have drawn two on the bounce. Sunderland have shown themselves quite well, sitting in the top half with eleven from the first seven. They’ve been excellent at the Stadium of Light thus far, and until Wolves show me that they’re anything besides an utterly diabolical football team, I’m not backing them to come away with a bean.
Prediction: 1–0 Sunderland
Only Goalscorer: Wilson Isidor
Manchester City vs Everton
15:00, Saturday, 18 October, The Etihad
The prodigal son, Jack Grealish, returns to the Etihad for the first time since leaving – and nothing’s really changed, he still won’t get a chance to actually go on the pitch. In all seriousness, I think that Everton have every chance of coming away with something here. They’ve been alright at the Etihad in recent years, and they were in a good run of form prior to the break. I’m notoriously poor with my predictions of the Ev, as my blue mates will happily tell you, so take it with a grain of salt.
Prediction: 1–1
First Goalscorer: Erling Haaland
Crystal Palace vs Bournemouth
15:00, Saturday, 18 October, Selhurst Park
All good things must come to an end — as was Palace’s 17-game unbeaten run on the banks of the Royal Blue Mersey two weekends ago. Bournemouth seem to have recaptured some of the Iraola magic that propelled them for large spells of last season (granted, it faded a bit down the stretch). Given the style of both teams, I think this could be one of the games of the weekend from a football purist’s standpoint. Here’s to hoping for a free-flowing, attack-minded, end-to-end affair that leaves us right where we kicked off.
Prediction: 2–2
First Goalscorer: JP Mateta
Burnley vs Leeds United
15:00, Saturday, 18 October, Turf Moor
Tune into Palace–Bournemouth, City–Everton, or Newcastle–Brighton — and if none of those do it for you, do something nice for the missus: don’t put yourself through two hours of whatever this will be.
Prediction: 0–0
Brighton & Hove Albion vs Newcastle United
15:00, Saturday, 18 October, The Amex
This is another game that has the potential to produce some great football. Both teams seem to be evenly matched, although so far this season, you never quite know which version of them will turn up. Brighton were about as entertaining as getting your tail light smashed in a Tesco car park last time out at Molineux, while Newcastle put one of the three nails in Big Ange’s prospective coffin. I think it’ll be a good game of football, and I think the Toon find a way in the dying embers.
Prediction: 2–1 Newcastle
First Goalscorer: The big German lad
Fulham vs Arsenal
17:30, Saturday, 18 October, Craven Cottage
Arsenal have only taken one point from the Cottage across their last two visits, and as much as I’d love to see this trend continue tomorrow evening, I’m not overly confident that it will. Fulham haven’t been great defending set pieces this season, and that’s been Arteta’s sole form of chance creation over the last 24 months.
Prediction: 3–0 Arsenal
First Goalscorer: Gabriel — hat-trick from corners
Tottenham Hotspur vs Aston Villa
14:00, Sunday, 19 October, Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
Villa have seemingly rediscovered how to find the back of the net after going the better part of September without scoring a goal. Emery’s side have won two on the bounce, although I believe Thomas Frank’s side will put up more of a fight than the likes of Fulham and Burnley. Spurs currently sit third, and while I think this match will be quite cagey in the first half, I expect Spurs to find a late goal or two.
Prediction: 2–0 Spurs
First Goalscorer: Mohammed Kudus
Liverpool vs Manchester United
16:30, Sunday, 19 October, Anfield
Not too much to say about it, honestly — it’s just pure hatred. Kick them any chance you get and make sure they feel it. Be horrible bastards; don’t help them up. Please don’t ruin my week. Cheers.
Prediction: 3–1 Liverpool
First Goalscorer: Alexander Isak
West Ham United vs Brentford
20:00, Monday, 20 October, London Stadium
Monday night in a soulless, abandoned F1 track. Sixteenth versus nineteenth — possibly the only fixture that could make Monday feel even worse than it already does. For those of you planning on toughing this one out, fair play — there’s no way you have wives.
Prediction: 1–1
First Goalscorer: Jarrod Bowen
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