It’s matchweek 34 and Liverpool only need a point to clinch their 20th title. I genuinely don’t have the words to describe the emotion, but hopefully, at some point in the near future, I find enough to put together something worthy of a read. We’ve only got seven fixtures in the league this weekend, as Palace play Villa and City play Forest in the semi-finals of the FA Cup. We’ve done it 33 times before – so you know what to do: you’ve made it through the work week, grab a pint, kick up your feet, and get stuck into some matchweek 34 predictions.
Chelsea vs. Everton
12:30, Saturday, 26 April, Stamford Bridge
Maresca’s Blues rescued themselves late on at Craven Cottage last weekend to just about keep their dreams of Champions League football alive. The Blues currently sit 6th, one point behind Newcastle – whose second-half capitulation last weekend at Villa has tightened the race once more. Everton will have been disappointed following a strong display for 80 minutes in front of the Goodison faithful against City – only to concede twice late on, leaving empty-handed after a performance that probably deserved a point. The Toffees haven’t won at the Bridge in the league since 1994 – add James Tarkowski’s long-term injury to the equation, and it looks as though that streak may continue. While I don’t think Everton will win this match, Chelsea have been far from stellar over the last several months – and I think this may turn into a very frustrating afternoon in West London.
Prediction: 0-0
Brighton & Hove Albion vs. West Ham United
15:00, Saturday, 26 April, The Amex
Brighton’s frustration that has been building over the last several weeks was on full display last weekend, as João Pedro fashioned his best impression of the Tombstone on a Brentford defender 20 yards off the ball. He was immediately sent off, Brighton shipped four, and the Seagulls’ miserable run of form continues. Elsewhere, West Ham conceded a last-minute equaliser at home to Southampton – ensuring that Saints reached the Derby County line, and are thus spared from that miserable record for another two years at least. Brighton and West Ham may be the two most out-of-form sides in the league at this moment in time – although Brighton may have a chance of squeaking into Europe if they find a way to turn things around. They have to start on Saturday though.
Prediction: 1-0 Brighton
Only Goal Scorer: Kaoru Mitoma
Newcastle United vs. Ipswich Town
15:00, Saturday, 26 April, St James’ Park
Eddie Howe (or Jason Tindall) and the Toon couldn’t have asked for a better fixture to get back on track following their second-half collapse at Villa Park last weekend. On paper, this one is fairly straightforward. Ipswich are all but down – their performance against Arsenal at Portman Road went about as you’d have expected, and Newcastle (apart from last weekend’s blip) have steamrolled everything in their path over the better part of the last two months. The Toon have one foot in next season’s Champions League, SJP will be up for it, and it should be fairly cut and dry at the end of the day.
Prediction: 3-0 Newcastle
First Goal Scorer: Alexander Isak
Anytime Goal Scorers: Anthony Gordon (x2)
Southampton vs. Fulham
15:00, Saturday, 26 April, St Mary’s
If Fulham didn’t have a shot at Europa League, I wouldn’t be writing more than one or two lines on this match – and I still may not. There’s very little in this game that interests me, if I’m being completely honest. The Southampton–West Ham game last weekend was among the top five worst games that I’ve watched in recent years, and while Fulham have their share of quality, they haven’t been particularly scintillating – especially away from Craven Cottage. They should win – it’s Southampton – but I believe it may be a vomit-inducing watch.
Prediction: 2-0 Fulham
First Goal Scorer: Alex Iwobi
Anytime Goal Scorer: Antonee Robinson
Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Leicester City
15:00, Saturday, 26 April, Molineux
As I continue to write these, I’ve come to the realisation that this may possibly be the worst 3pm kick-off slate I’ve ever seen. These are some absolutely diabolical fixtures. Palace and Villa don’t kick off in the FA Cup semi-final until 4:15 in the afternoon, so after Chelsea–Everton: I don’t know, take the dog for a long walk maybe? Christ, these games are grim.
Prediction: 2-0 Wolves
First Goal Scorer: Matheus Cunha
Anytime Goal Scorer: Jørgen Strand Larsen
Bournemouth vs. Manchester United
14:00, Sunday, 27 April, Vitality Stadium
After United’s hilarious performance against Wolves at Old Trafford last weekend, I crave more of the same Sunday. It was the perfect fuel for the party atmosphere leading into Liverpool inching ever closer to the title, and Sunday, as it stands, may be the party of the century – what better way to kick off a day like that? While the game means next to nothing for United, as they’re finally safe from relegation, Bournemouth do need to win as they try to reignite their pursuit of Europa League football next season. I think it will be a battering – but don’t worry lads, you get to ruin Cunha’s career next year, so no need to be glum.
Prediction: 3-1 Bournemouth
First Goal Scorer: Antoine Semenyo
Anytime Goal Scorers: Dean Huijsen, Justin Kluivert, Rasmus Højlund
Liverpool vs. Tottenham Hotspur
17:30, Sunday, 27 April, Anfield
One point. One point required to become 20-time Champions of the English Football League. One point until we can celebrate at Anfield like we haven’t done since 1990. One thing about Sunday is guaranteed: I will be an absolute shell of a human being. After all of the years of title implosion, it’s going to happen – and it’s going to happen on a glorious Sunday in the Anfield sunshine. I can’t quite wrap my head around it just yet, but the anticipation of that final whistle has been enough to keep me from sleeping for nearly a full week. Strap yourselves in, because I’m going to be un-fucking-bearable until August.
Prediction: 4-1 Liverpool
First Goal Scorer: Salah (x3)
Anytime Goal Scorer: Richarlison (OG), Dominic Solanke
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