It’s finally the best time of the year. For the next two weeks, I will be in my own personal paradise. The footy on nearly every day, no work, no limits on my drinking habits, and the soul-crushing anxiety that will come right around the New Year when I realize I’ll have to wait another year for these two weeks to come around again. Matchweek 17 sees the return of the beloved half-noon kickoff, with an even 5 and 5 split of matches played on Saturday and Sunday, before the Boxing Day fixtures kick us off next Thursday. It’s nearly Christmas, so kick your feet up, grab (several) pints, and get stuck into some Matchweek 17 predictions.
Aston Villa vs. Manchester City
12:30, Saturday, December 21st, Villa Park
Well, this should be interesting. The two sides both lost their previous match in heartbreaking and unbelievable fashion, conceding 2 goals in the final 5 minutes to each throw away 1-nil advantages. These losses were not created equally, however. While Villa’s late capitulation at the City Ground will have been a tough one to take, the City Ground is a difficult environment, and Forest have proven themselves to be a truly decent side thus far. The same cannot be said of the City result. Blowing a late 1-nil lead at home to lose to your cross-city rivals, who remain languishing in 13th, is nearly unbearable. Add to the fact that City have lost 8 of their last 11 and have fallen from the top 4, and it’s a full-blown meltdown. I simply can’t see City responding, given the football I’ve seen from them over the last month, and Villa Park is certainly not the venue to begin testing your luck.
Prediction: 2-0 Villa
First Goal Scorer: Ollie Watkins
Anytime Goal Scorer: John McGinn
Brentford vs. Nottingham Forest
15:00, Saturday, December 21st, GTech Community Stadium
As I briefly mentioned last weekend, Brentford are just a different side at the GTech than when they go on the road. A late goal at Stamford Bridge to halve the deficit provided some hope of a late equalizer, but in fairness to the aggregate performance on the afternoon, it wasn’t to be. Forest’s late comeback to stun Villa out of the 3 points at the City Ground and lift the Tricky Trees to the Champions League places will surely have added to the confidence that Nuno has inspired. However, taking 3 points from the GTech is no simple task. In terms of the sides and Brentford’s form at home, I don’t see anything in this one to separate the two teams.
Prediction: 2-2
First Goal Scorer: Bryan Mbuemo
Anytime Goal Scorers: Vitaly Janelt, Chris Wood, Anthony Elanga
Ipswich Town vs. Newcastle United
15:00, Saturday, December 21st, Portman Road
The Tractor Boys’ victory at Wolves last weekend accomplished two things: 1) It took Ipswich to two points from safety, and 2) It put the final nail in Gary O’Neil’s coffin in the Black Country. I truly like to see Ipswich do well; they seem like a well-run club with a good group of supporters. But as the year wears on, I’m struggling to see a path that allows them to remain in the division. Newcastle’s latest performance of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde saw the Toon dismantle Leicester at SJP last weekend, further confusing Newcastle supporters in regard to the quality of their own side. It’s either really good or really bad, and you never really know which is coming on any given day. Portman Road hasn’t necessarily been an easy place for visitors to pick up points this season, but barring any major fitness setbacks for Newcastle’s midweek Carabao Cup tie, I think the Geordies find a way come Saturday.
Prediction: 2-1 Newcastle
First Goal Scorer: Anthony Gordon
Anytime Goal Scorers: Alexander Isak, Sammie Szmodics
West Ham United vs. Brighton & Hove Albion
15:00, Saturday, December 21st, London Stadium
I was fairly certain that Brighton would bounce back last weekend following their recent run of poor form against Palace, and wow, was I mistaken. Palace bossed the Seagulls at the Amex and led 3-nil with 5 minutes to go, before a late Brighton goal improved the look of the scoreline—and that may be the only positive to take from the match. Brighton’s last league win came nearly a month ago, and the dip in form that looked like a blip on the surface may be becoming something more sinister. The Irons looked to have taken all three points from the Vitality on Monday before a stoppage-time stunner from Enes Unal leveled proceedings on the South Coast. Not an ideal way to end a game of football if you’re West Ham, but greater sides have gone there and lost plenty this season. If—and that’s a very big if—the Hammers can find a way to nick all three points this weekend, they may just have time to turn around their horrific start to the year.
Prediction: 2-1 West Ham
First Goal Scorer: Jarrod Bowen
Anytime Goal Scorers: Mohammed Kudus, Joao Pedro
Crystal Palace vs. Arsenal
17:30, Saturday, December 21st, Selhurst Park
It seems that every time I predict an Arsenal win, they drop points, and every time I choose them to drop points, they win. So let’s hope that trend can continue this weekend. Palace is coming off their best showing of the season by some distance, following the 3-1 away win at the Amex. Arsenal showcased another display of 90 minutes of anti-football last weekend, the only issue being that Sean Dyche and Everton are the kings of this style of play. 90 minutes of pure petulance, time-wasting, and general shithousery resulted in a nil-nil game of football that would have made even Tony Pulis and Big Sam grin ear to ear. I really think that Palace can get something from this game, but out of sheer superstition and ritual, I’ll take the Arsenal.
Prediction: 2-0 Arsenal
First Goal Scorer: William Saliba
Anytime Goal Scorer: Whoever plays as the other centre-half
Everton vs. Chelsea
14:00, Sunday, December 22nd, Goodison Park
As mentioned in the above passage, the Ev’s display at the Emirates last weekend was nothing short of eye-watering beauty. More of the same this weekend, please, lads. Last weekend’s result may be difficult to replicate, as Chelsea are actually capable of creating goal-scoring opportunities from open play, but Goodison (particularly in the big games) is always a nightmarish venue for opposition. As is so often the case at the Grand Old Lady, the longer the Toffees can remain in the game, the more difficult the crowd will make it. If Chelsea find an early opener, however, the crowd can swiftly have the opposite effect.
Prediction: 1-0 Chelsea
Only Goal Scorer: Nicolas Jackson
Fulham vs. Southampton
14:00, Sunday, December 22nd, Craven Cottage
Marco Silva and the Cottagers put a lot into the 2-2 draw at Anfield last Saturday, and despite being a man up for nearly an hour and 10 minutes, Fulham thoroughly deserved at least a point for their troubles. The side has shown that they can be lethal on the counter time and time again this season, and after Liverpool were reduced to 10, the second goal was always coming. Southampton remain Southampton, and they’re away from home—not that it makes a great deal of difference.
Prediction: 3-0 Fulham
First Goal Scorer: Harry Wilson
Anytime Goal Scorers: Raul Jimenez, Adama Traore
Leicester City vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers
14:00, Sunday, December 22nd, King Power Stadium
Both of these sides have undoubtedly had a rough couple of months. Both have sacked the manager they began the campaign with, and both remain firmly in the war of attrition that is a proper relegation fight. To add insult to injury, the sole bright spot of Wolves’ season—Mattheus Cunha—seems to be facing a lengthy spell in the stands after (scratching/weakly punching) at the throat of an elderly man on the pitch following the sides’ defeat to Ipswich last weekend. Of the two dumpster fires, however, I do believe that Leicester may currently be burning a tad more mildly than Wolves, who seem to have just been doused with kerosene. I’ll back the Foxes at home this weekend.
Prediction: 2-0 Leicester
First Goal Scorer: Jamie Vardy
Anytime Goal Scorer: Kasey McAteer
Manchester United vs. Bournemouth
14:00, Sunday, December 22nd, Old Trafford
Amad Diallo’s late winner against City at the weekend astoundingly rocketed United from 13th to 13th in the league table. By the magnitude of celebration, you would have never been able to guess. United host the Cherries this weekend, a fixture in which Bournemouth won 3-nil at Old Trafford last season. While I’d do next to anything to see this result replicated, I fear that may just be asking too much. Bournemouth looked tired in their draw to West Ham on Monday evening, and if the malaise persists, they may be in danger of dropping more points on Saturday. I could see this one being a scoring draw, with another early Christmas gift courtesy of Andre Onana given to the Cherries.
Prediction: 1-1
First Goal Scorer: Bruno Fernandes
Anytime Goal Scorer: Justin Kluivert
Tottenham Hotspur vs. Liverpool
17:30, Sunday, December 22nd, Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
I never want to relive the debacle that was this match last season. I will take that day to my grave, and if I think about it for long enough, it makes me physically ill. Arne Slot’s Reds have dropped 4 points in their last two league games, and a win is desperately needed in the league to get the confidence flowing once more. Spurs, much like Newcastle this season, are a mixed bag. You don’t know which side will turn up, but on their day, they can be near untouchable. I do think that squad availability may play a large factor this week, as Spurs are still without some key players, while Liverpool seem to be getting back fit at the right time—with the exception of Big Ibou and Conor Bradley. This should be wonderful viewing as a neutral, and as much as I’d love to live in ignorance and believe that we walk in there and take three points, I don’t think this will be the case this weekend. Scoring draws seem to be the flavour of the month for Liverpool at the moment, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see another this weekend.
Prediction: 1-1
First Goal Scorer: Son Heung-min
Anytime Goal Scorer: Mohamed Salah
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