Matchweek 11 is upon us, and you know what that means: only one more weekend of Premier League football before another brazen money-grab from the fraudulent organization that is FIFA. Have I mentioned how much I despise the international break? For the second time in 3 weeks, they’ve gotten rid of the noon kickoff, so we’ll have a host of 3pm kickoffs on Saturday, with the late, late kickoff coming under the lights at Anfield. Sunday sees 4 matches, all of which look relatively decent—happy days. Sit back, grab a pint, and enjoy some Matchweek 11 predictions.
Brentford vs. Bournemouth
15:00, Saturday, November 9th, GTech Community Stadium
I think you’d be hard-pressed to find two sides in more contrasting states of mind heading into the weekend. Andoni Iraola’s masterclass against Champions Manchester City at the Vitality Stadium last weekend will have the Cherries feeling on top of the world. On the other end of the spectrum, Thomas Frank’s Bees will be devastated following Monday evening’s defeat at Craven Cottage. The Bees led 1-nil for essentially the entire game before a stoppage-time capitulation that saw all points on offer disappear at the death. After putting so much in and defending brilliantly for nearly the entire game, the result would surely be gutting. Bournemouth’s form at the Vitality has been nothing short of astonishing thus far; however, their performances away from the South Coast have left something to be desired—which does make this match-up interesting. In the end, I think all contributing factors just about cancel each other out, and while all 3 results are certainly possible, I just can’t see a winner being determined at full-time.
Prediction: 2-2
First Goal Scorer: Kevin Schade
Anytime Goal Scorers: Antoine Semenyo, James Tavernier, Ethan Pinnock
Crystal Palace vs. Fulham
15:00, Saturday, November 9th, Selhurst Park
After an absolutely atrocious start to the season for Palace, it seems the Eagles may have turned a corner. 4 points from their last 2, including a win over an in-form Spurs side at home, and the rescue of a point at Molineux last weekend will have surely given a boost to a side massively struggling with confidence, dragging them from the relegation places. Harry Wilson and Fulham will be overjoyed with the result at the weekend; with the ex-Red subbed on late at 1-nil down, before finding the net twice in spectacular fashion at the death to rob all 3 points from travelling Brentford—surely he’s done enough to earn a start this weekend, right? Fulham currently sit firmly mid-table, a place that I reckon they’ll linger around for the remainder of the year, and this is just the type of fixture that the Cottagers must win if they have dreams of playing in Europe next season in any capacity. However, the fight that Palace have shown in recent weeks is encouraging for me, and I think the Eagles make it two wins on the bounce at Selhurst Park.
Prediction: 1-0 Palace
Only Goal Scorer: Jean Phillippe-Mateta
West Ham United vs. Everton
15:00, Saturday, November 9th, London Stadium
I said last weekend that if the Ev lost to Southampton, they should just dissolve the club. I firmly stand behind this statement. I know that they’ll miraculously stay in the Division somehow, like they always do, but how hilarious it would be to see Bramley Moore’s grand opening be against Oxford on matchday 1 in the Championship. We can only dream. West Ham were blown off the park by the remorseless machine that has become Nottingham Forest at the City Ground last weekend. To be quite frank, both of these sides are absolutely dreadful (with the exception of the United game two weekends ago that proved to be Ten Hag’s last—but then again, they make everyone look like world-beaters), and I’m expecting a pretty ugly match here, devoid of hope, happiness, or endeavoring spirit. I backed Everton to not make me look a tit last weekend, and they did just that—so, fuck ‘em.
Prediction: 3-0 West Ham
First Goal Scorer: Mohammed Kudus
Anytime Goal Scorers: Danny Ings, Jarrod Bowen
Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Southampton
15:00, Saturday, November 9th, Molineux
Just do yourself a favor and don’t watch this game. Simple as. Unless you are a die-hard supporter of either of these sides, you’ve genuinely got no business putting this on your television and subjecting both yourself and those in your immediate vicinity to a cruel and unusual form of punishment. I’ve given you a preview of 3 other matches in this timeslot on Saturday—just tune into one of them. If you are a supporter of either of these clubs, first of all, I’m sorry, and second of all—congratulations, neither of you have looked as offensively awful in recent weeks as I once thought you to be. Saints’ victory over Everton last weekend provided me with far more dopamine than it should have, and for that, I thank you. Gary O’Neil and Wolves do seem to be on the precipice of (maybe?) finally winning a game—you won’t have a better chance to do so than this weekend, so you better make it count.
Prediction: 2-0 Wolves
Only Goal Scorer: Jorgen Strand Larsen (x2)
Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Manchester City
17:30, Saturday, November 9th, The Amex
I have hope that this will be an absolute belter of a match, and maybe somewhat of a palate cleanse from what we may be subjected to watching in the early slate of games. City are clearly in an awful run of form—one of the worst I can remember in recent years under Pep, in fact—but I can almost guarantee that the absolute dismantling that we saw on Tuesday evening in Portugal will never occur again—and surely not 4 days apart. Don’t get me wrong—I’d absolutely revel in it, but it’s just not happening. Brighton played us like ’08 Barcelona at Anfield last weekend, and while we found a way to turn it around in the second half, I hope that they can replicate this form for 90 minutes come Saturday. They’ve been really good at the Amex for the most part thus far, so it’s certainly a possibility that they take something from this game over a reeling City side. God, I hope that I’m right.
Prediction: 3-2 Brighton
First Goal Scorer: Danny Welbeck
Anytime Goal Scorers: Erling Haaland, Phil Foden, Georginio Rutter, Simon Adingra
Liverpool vs. Aston Villa
20:00, Saturday, November 9th, Anfield
While Villa have proven themselves to be a formidable side over the past two seasons, I don’t think we could possibly be playing them at a better time. Emery’s side got thrashed last weekend at Spurs 4-1, before laying an egg in Brussels on Wednesday night (Tyrone Mings, what are we actually doing, lad?). The Reds’ form is a stark contrast to that of the Villans, coming from behind to defeat Brighton 2-1 at the weekend through the golden left foot of the Egyptian King, before torching Xabi Alonso’s Leverkusen for 4 in the second half—thanks to the help of a Luis Diaz hat-trick—ending the German club’s run of nearly 17 months unbeaten away from home. I’m aware that football is a fickle mistress and form is not everything, but for the love of God, get Anfield rocking under the lights, and don’t make this weeklong break painful and sad. Cheers.
Prediction: 3-1 Liverpool
First Goal Scorer: Luis Diaz
Anytime Goal Scorers: Darwin Nunez, Curtis Jones, Ollie Watkins
Nottingham Forest vs. Newcastle United
14:00, Sunday, November 10th, The City Ground
The Toon make the journey to the Midlands as they take on Nottingham Forest at the City Ground on Sunday afternoon. Forest currently sit 3rd in the league—yes, you read that correctly—and we’re nearly a third of the way into the season. For a side that many (including myself) tipped for relegation prior to the campaign, what they’ve accomplished thus far is nothing short of remarkable. Nuno’s side dismantled West Ham at the City Ground last weekend and will be looking to continue their incredible run through the international break. Newcastle defeated Arsenal at SJP last weekend in a match in which they thoroughly deserved to win. The Magpies were all over Arteta’s side from the opening kick, and ultimately suffocated them in a 1-nil victory that could have easily been 3 or 4—far and away Newcastle’s best performance of the season to this point. While the performance on Tyneside last weekend will breed confidence, I simply don’t know if an answer exists anywhere in world football for an in-form Chris Wood—and further, an in-form Forest.
Prediction: 2-1 Forest
First Goal Scorer: Chris Wood
Anytime Goal Scorers: Anthony Gordon, Anthony Elanga
Manchester United vs. Leicester City
14:00, Sunday, November 10th, Old Trafford
13th place Manchester United welcome Leicester to the Theater of Joel Glazer’s dreams on Sunday afternoon. Only one spot in the table separates the two sides, and the game will most likely reflect this. United didn’t lose to Chelsea at home last weekend, so I guess that may count as a moral victory? United have strung a few results together against minnows since Ten Hag’s sacking, and after watching a Portuguese team beat City midweek, this must be the highest spirits have been on the Red side of Manchester since 2012. Steve Cooper and Leicester typically sit somewhere between painfully mediocre and downright diabolical; and while painfully mediocre may be more than enough to get a result on Sunday, I can’t see them putting in this positive of a performance.
Prediction: 2-0 United
First Goal Scorer: Amad Diallo
Anytime Goal Scorer: Does Rashford still play?
Tottenham Hotspur vs. Ipswich Town
14:00, Sunday, November 10th, Tottenham Hotspur Stadium
Both of these sides have been absolutely impossible to predict thus far this season. When I think that Ipswich are really poor, they surprise me with a plucky, tough performance that results in a draw. Whenever I believe that Spurs are really good, they implode in the most embarrassing fashion imaginable. So where does the truth actually lie? I believe that Ange is firmly on the right track and has a host of players that support this argument—the problem is that these players have significant fitness issues as the fixture schedule becomes increasingly congested. Romero and Van de Ven are out until after the international break—and after watching the third and fourth-choice center halves concede nearly 30—yes, thirty—shots Thursday in a 3-2 loss at Galatasaray, Spurs supporters cannot be filled with confidence in terms of squad depth. On the flip side, Kieran McKenna has done well with what he’s working with, but will that elusive first victory come this weekend? I’m afraid the wait will go on.
Prediction: 3-2 Spurs
First Goal Scorer: Dominic Solanke (x2)
Anytime Goal Scorers: Dejan Kulusevski, Liam Delap, Sammie Szmodics
Chelsea vs. Arsenal
16:30, Sunday, November 10th, Stamford Bridge
Chelsea will be flying high after battering a collection of plumbers, schoolteachers, and electricians 8-nil in the Europa Conference League on Thursday evening. Arsenal, following the pasting at the hands of Newcastle on Saturday, went to the San Siro and were again beaten by Inter on Wednesday evening. These games were both, of course, the result of refereeing corruption, and not the miniature Spaniard’s diabolically negative tactics—surely couldn’t be that, right? If you’ve read more than one of these, you know that admittedly I am not a fan of Chelsea—but what Maresca has done with an insanely bloated squad, and an absolute clown for a boss, is respectable. They play appealing football and have gotten on with their business with minimal moaning thus far. I don’t have enough words to represent my lack of respect for anything that has to do with Arsenal Football Club at this point in time. Hope you get fuckin’ battered—again.
Prediction: 3-0 Chelsea
First Goal Scorer: Cole Palmer (x2)
Anytime Goal Scorers: Noni Madueke
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