Well, we’ve made it. It’s matchweek 7, and I’m sitting in a mold-encrusted tent from the 1940s, sweating my ass off as I write this from the middle of the South Pacific. Internet connection may be described as “trying” at best, so if I misspeak in the article, please forgive me; I’ve got to pick and choose my battles. Matchweek 6 saw the Ev win their first game (yes, you read that correctly), City held to a point at Saint James’ Park, and my personal favorite: Spurs’ demolition of Ten Hag’s atrocity that is Manchester United. Arne Slot’s mighty Reds sit top of the league—and a win over Palace would see them take the top position into next week’s pointless international break. With that, settle in, and let’s get stuck into our matchweek 7 predictions, shall we?
Crystal Palace vs. Liverpool
12:30, Saturday, October 5th, Selhurst Park
The Reds make the journey to South London for the lunchtime kickoff on Saturday. While Wednesday’s win over Bologna in the Champions League may not have been the most aesthetically pleasing performance of all time, it got the job done, and that’s all that I care about. Liverpool’s record at Palace in recent years is relatively favorable; however, the games are rarely straightforward—memories of Palace choking the remaining life from our title hopes at Anfield on the tail end of last season remain fresh in the mind, and they’re memories that neither I nor my closet door care to recall. Palace don’t come into the game in great form, having gift-wrapped Everton their first win of the year on Merseyside last weekend. The game will kick off for me at 1:30 in the morning—and if I’m forced to listen to Vengaboys following a JP Mateta goal at that hour, it just may rob my last remaining shred of sanity. I have a fair amount of confidence, though, and while Palace do possess quality in attack, moments of demonstration have been fleeting thus far, to say the least.
Prediction: 0-2 Liverpool
First Goal Scorer: Luis Diaz
Anytime Goal Scorer: Dominik Szoboszlai
Arsenal vs. Southampton
15:00, Saturday, October 5th, The Emirates
Well, this should be ugly. It took us 6 weeks to see Arsenal celebrate a late winner at the Emirates over inferior opposition like they had won the European Cup; and I’m certain that it won’t be the last time that we’re forced to watch this. Southampton got demolished by the Cherries on Monday evening, and to add insult to injury, the announcer at the Vitality Stadium took it upon himself to inform the traveling support that all trains back to Southampton had been canceled in the 88th minute—when will the misery end? It certainly will not be this week. Southampton remain on 1 point, winless, and 19th in the table. The style of football that they play continuously leaves them open at the back, and while I’m sure that they’ll try to remain more compact this weekend, I don’t believe that it will matter at all.
Prediction: 4-0 Arsenal
First Goal Scorer: Bukayo Saka (x2)
Anytime Goal Scorers: Gabriel Jesus, Gabriel
Brentford vs. Wolves
15:00, Saturday, October 5th, GTech Community Stadium
Brentford have now scored in the opening minute of their previous three fixtures. Last weekend I said, “surely they can’t make it three, can they?” and it took Bryan Mbeumo exactly 39 seconds to prove that they in fact could. While this is an incredible statistic, it may be even more incredible that the Bees have been unable to take three points from any of these games. Last week ended in a 1-1 draw with West Ham, and while the football hasn’t been poor, frustration will surely be growing. Wolves come into the match on 1 point and dead bottom of the league. Gary O’Neil’s side were beaten again at home by Liverpool 2-1 last weekend, and while Wolves played some really good football at points in the match, moral victories can only take you so far. Based on the recent form of both sides, a draw is certainly within the realm of possibility.
Prediction: 1-1
First Goal Scorer: Bryan Mbeumo
Anytime Goal Scorer: Mattheus Cunha
Leicester City vs. Bournemouth
15:00, Saturday, October 5th, The King Power
The Foxes will be trying to bounce back from the heartbreaker that they suffered at the small hands of Mikel Arteta last weekend at the Emirates. James Justin scored an early contender for goal of the season to level the game at 2 after Leicester had trailed 2-0. The Foxes then gave absolutely everything to hold on before being undone by a corner in stoppage time—I’m pretty sure Arsenal added a fourth as well, but by that point, it didn’t matter, and I had stopped watching. They’ll have to pick themselves up and go again; however, I don’t think hosting Bournemouth will be a bad way to try and get back on the rails. The Cherries have been great thus far, stringing together consistent performances week after week, but I think the Foxes will come out in front of a crowd at the KP with something to prove this weekend.
Prediction: 2-1 Leicester City
First Goal Scorer: Jamie Vardy
Anytime Goal Scorers: Facundo Buonanotte, James Tavernier
Manchester City vs. Fulham
15:00, Saturday, October 5th, The Etihad
While I’d typically write this off as a simple City trouncing, Fulham did the unthinkable last weekend and defeated the immovable object that is Nottingham Forest in their own backyard. City’s performance at Saint James’ Park left something to be desired—so could Fulham do it again? Unfortunately, I believe this answer is a resounding no; however, I think the first half may be tight. I could even see Fulham going ahead in this match. While that would give me at least a 40-second rush of dopamine, I think City will respond in typical robotic fashion and quickly kill any thoughts of potential happiness remaining within my brain at Fulham’s expense. You can dream, so long as it doesn’t involve City.
Prediction: 3-1 City
First Goal Scorer: Alex Iwobi
Anytime Goal Scorers: Erling Haaland (x2), Savinho
West Ham United vs. Ipswich Town
15:00, Saturday, October 5th, London Stadium
West Ham welcome Ipswich to the cold and uncomforting oval of concrete that is the London Stadium on Saturday afternoon. Both sides are coming off draws at the weekend, with the Hammers coming from behind to take a point from Brentford and Ipswich doing the same against an impressive Aston Villa side. The Hammers’ home form thus far has not been impeccable, and Ipswich (while winless) have proven that they can hurt the opposition and ultimately find a way to scrape points. Kieran McKenna will undoubtedly set his side up to do the same this weekend, and given how much Julen Lopetegui’s team has struggled in the last few weeks, the Hammers dropping points this weekend is certainly not out of the question.
Prediction: 1-1
First Goal Scorer: Crysencio Summerville
Anytime Goal Scorer: Liam Delap
Everton vs. Newcastle
17:30, Sunday, October 5th, Goodison Park
Everton picked up their first win of the campaign last weekend thanks to the left peg of Dwight McNeil. The Toffees hope that their fortunes have turned with Newcastle visiting this weekend, although they undoubtedly have not. A sputtering Newcastle, who have yet to find their feet this season, seem to have gained some traction against City last weekend on Tyneside; let’s hope that they can carry it on this weekend. Everton demolished Newcastle at Goodison last year, part of a 3-week span that saw them claim three points over the Toon and Chelsea before failing to win another game for 6 months. Childhood Liverpool supporter and Ex-Evertonian Anthony Gordon is sure to receive a warm welcome, and I believe that he just may have one more parting gift for the Grand Old Lady.
Prediction: 0-3 Newcastle
Only Goal Scorer: Anthony Gordon (x3)
Aston Villa vs. Manchester United
16:00, Sunday, October 6th, Villa Park
Could this be Erik Ten Hag’s final game in charge of Manchester United? I hope not, but United are truly so poor that it very well could be. I thought that today against Porto could be the Dutchman’s final match on the touchline following a collapse from 2-nil up at the Dragao, but Harry Maguire’s massive skull may have kept Ten Hag in a job until the weekend at least. For a side that used to win trebles and challenge for the league every year of my childhood, it brings me immeasurable joy to watch them celebrate a draw with Porto in the Europa League. Villa are coming off a massive win at Villa Park over German giants Bayern Munich midweek, and they will continue riding this wave into Sunday. Villa struggled with consistency throughout last season, and Sunday will be a chance to reassure supporters that they are here to stay.
Prediction: 4-0 Aston Villa
First Goal Scorer: Ollie Watkins
Anytime Goal Scorers: Youri Tielemans, Leon Bailey, Morgan Rodgers
Chelsea vs. Nottingham Forest
16:00, Sunday, October 6th, Stamford Bridge
Chelsea’s offensive firepower was on display in the form of Cole Palmer last weekend against Brighton. Palmer and the Blues scored 4 before the half, while conceding two comical goals themselves. Chelsea’s offensive performances continue to impress, while the back 4 continue to leak preventable goals. The Tricky Trees were finally beaten at the City Ground by Fulham at the weekend; Nuno ball is great when it works, but when it doesn’t, supporters are unfortunately just subjected to 90 minutes of shit football with no points to show for it. Forest supporters will still be in good spirits, however, as they currently find themselves dead center of the table. I anticipate another valiant defensive effort from Nuno’s Forest on Sunday, but without much of a threat going forward themselves in recent weeks, I can’t see them outscoring a red-hot Chelsea.
Prediction: 2-0 Chelsea
First Goal Scorer: Nicolas Jackson
Anytime Goal Scorer: Cole Palmer
Brighton & Hove Albion vs. Tottenham Hotspur
18:30, Sunday, October 6th, The Amex
The Seagulls welcome Spurs to the South Coast Sunday evening following a thrashing at the hands of Chelsea last weekend. Some of the defending in the game’s opening half was amongst the worst I’ve ever seen at this level, and Brighton was genuinely lucky to not have conceded 6 or 7 in the opening 45 minutes alone. They always pose a threat in attack, though, and they’ll be grateful to be back at the Amex to regroup this weekend. Spurs went to Old Trafford and played United off the park (as we knew that they would). Both sides’ offensive firepower and momentary lapses at the back give this game all of the ingredients to turn into a thriller, and I really hope that it does. I believe that a high-scoring draw may be on the cards, and I think this may have the potential to easily be the most entertaining game of the weekend.
Prediction: 3-3
First Goal Scorer: Brennan Johnson
Anytime Goal Scorers: Danny Welbeck, Dominic Solanke (x2), Kaoru Mitoma, Carlos Baleba
Leave a Reply