- My God, Everton.
I genuinely am at a loss for words. I am also aware that they have featured in this section for the opening 3 weeks of the season, but Christ, just when you think it can’t possibly get any worse, they outdo themselves. While I’ve not yet reached the sympathy phase—and am still not in the realm of encroaching that territory—it is beginning to feel ‘not in good taste’ to continue writing about this abhorrent football team. Remember in January 2020 when Everton bottled a 2-nil lead in the 94th minute against Newcastle? You probably don’t, but I had money on Everton winning that match, so I very much do. The game in 2020 started eerily similarly to the colossal kick in the groin that was Saturday—with Michael Keane opening the scoring for the Toffees, and DCL adding a second goal—surely astronomical odds of that combination of goal scorers followed by monumental collapse. Talk about lightning striking twice. In a game that Everton thoroughly controlled until Antoine Semenyo’s 87th-minute lifeline for the Cherries, it appeared as though a corner had been turned—at least from horrific to mediocre. The rugged defending that last season had shown glimpses of seemed to have returned, and while the attack still left a lot to be desired, the Toffees had at least found the back of the net for their first goals of the 2024-25 campaign. The worst part of the collapse that occurred in the final 9 minutes must have been the feeling that after Semenyo’s opener, the equalizer seemed imminent—and after the equalizer, an unthinkable winner began to appear inevitable with each Bournemouth attack. The crescendo of boos at the full-time whistle was staggering, and with a trip to Villa Park looming on the other side of the international break, the likelihood of the Toffees remaining pointless into late September looks a near certainty.
- Declan Rice’s Red Card Was 100% Warranted.
When Kai Havertz’s 39th-minute opener rippled the back of the net at the Emirates on Saturday afternoon (I’ve still got no idea what Lewis Dunk was doing?), the result seemed a foregone conclusion. Brighton had enjoyed several forays into the Arsenal penalty area in the early stages; however, the side from the South Coast had yet to produce any real opportunities—and I believed that the 1-nil would quickly become 2-nil, possibly before the half-time whistle. Luckily, this was not the case, and 2 minutes into the second half, we were all reminded of the speed at which a game of football can be turned on its head. After committing a foul deep in the Brighton half, Declan Rice, who had already been booked, petulantly kicked the ball away from Brighton defender Joel Veltman—who ceremoniously hacked Rice to the ground with a right boot that would have restarted play. Rice flung himself to the floor, something that we’ve become rather accustomed to seeing from Arsenal in years past, presumably in an effort to have the Brighton man cautioned or sent off. The Emirates erupted; and thank God Mikel Arteta’s back was turned to the incident because the excitable Spaniard may have attempted to bite the defender’s ankles himself had he seen the exchange. Referee Chris Kavanaugh (finally) made his way over to the incident (seriously, it took the man ages), where a second yellow—and ultimately red card—was (rightfully) brandished in the face of the Arsenal midfielder for deliberately delaying the restart. Cue the outrage: Arsenal supporters, who benefitted from countless decisions the previous season (see Odegaard playing basketball in the Anfield Road penalty area for reference), predictably launched themselves into a meltdown of biblical proportions—especially after Joao Pedro’s equalizer and subsequent 1-1 draw. Don’t get me wrong—if anyone understands blind bias it is me—but this is a bit like when you’re a child and you do something that you know is bad; you get caught doing it, and you immediately act as if you don’t know what you’ve done wrong. We know, Declan, the games are filmed.
- Spurs Are Incapable of Winning a Game of Football at St. James’ Park.
When Spurs supporters think of St. James’ Park, the 6-1 thrashing of April 2023 must surely be the first thought—with the dread of climbing to the stratosphere to spectate repeated disappointment from the away end. Of Spurs’ last 10 trips to Newcastle, Tottenham have lost 8—an astounding statistic when pondering the trajectory of the two clubs over the last 10 seasons. While Sunday started far more positively than in 2023—where Spurs found themselves 4-nil down in the opening 20 minutes—Tottenham looked bright going forward, carrying a real threat, and found themselves unlucky not to be leading following a Cristian Romero header that was ruled offside. Despite dominating the opening 35 minutes of the match, Spurs found themselves 1 down following the Toon’s first chance that saw Harvey Barnes produce a sublime far-post finish following a low cross in the penalty area. Spurs ultimately responded well to going behind—far better than they have in years past at this ground—and continued to pile on pressure in search of an equalizer. Thanks to Dan Burn’s clinical finish beyond a bewildered Nick Pope in the 56th minute, Spurs found themselves level, and given the run of play to that point, Tottenham appeared as though they had every chance of banishing their Tyneside demons and finding a second goal. Following a litany of spurned chances, Big Ange’s Cheech and Chong high line ultimately undid Spurs at St. James’ Park once again. A simple through ball from Joelinton saw Jacob Murphy free through the center of the park, who took a touch before squaring the ball to Alexander Isak, who walked the ball into an empty net—quite the anticlimax for traveling supporters facing the 300-mile journey back to London. Will Spurs ever win on Tyneside again?
- Ryan Gravenberch Is an Exceptional Footballer.
While I don’t have a great deal more to say on this subject, I felt as though it deserved mentioning. While the 22-year-old Dutchman was impressive during victories over Ipswich and Brentford to begin the season, concerns remained whether he would be able to replicate these performances on the biggest stage at Old Trafford—the answer? An emphatic and resounding absolutely. It appears he was born to play this role in Arne Slot’s double pivot—a perfect blend of footballing IQ (despite the comments of Oompa-Loompa stunt double Ronald Koeman), grace when gliding forward with the football on the half-turn, and positional awareness defensively—Gravenberch has cemented himself as one of the first names on the team sheet in the coming weeks. He was simply everywhere on Sunday, and I look forward to watching him boss the midfield for a long, long time to come.
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